Category: Uncategorized

Ah, it’s nice to be back. Sometimes life seems to throw your way more challenges than you seem to be able to physically and mentally cope.

The truth is that some of us have been giving challenges that will last the rest of our lives and let me tell you, no matter how obvious it is”¦no matter how strong you think you are, no matter how spiritual you perceive yourself to be”¦ it is a darn hard bone to chew and accept. Hence, it is often better to pause for a little while”¦regenerate your batteries and continue trying to do the best of your ability.

There is a scripture that I often times think about : “Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy” (2 Nephi 2:25). Thinking back about my life or perhaps other people in similar or worst circumstances it makes me wonder whether or not some people were called to suffer.

Yeah, I know. It sounds depressing but I don’t mean it that way. I truly believe that there are some people here on earth that seems to have been destined or called or whatever the heck you want to call it, to suffer.

There are a lot of individuals who go through serious daily struggles with no break whatsoever; day after day until the day they die. I don’t understand it, and no matter how many Disney-answers people want to provide such as “because God knows they are strong and special” I am just not convinced. I don’t believe in a God who is involved in every little single aspect of our lives, however I must admit that sometimes I ask: “Hey, are you there at all? Can’t you see I need YOU?”.

However, let me tell you there are many benefits that come through suffering. It makes you a little more compassionate, less selfish, caring, concerned about others and how they feel and the unstoppable need to be there for those struggling with similar challenges. Suffering also makes you realize how weak you truly are, it is such a humbling experience for those with a drop or two of pride (Mine I count it by the pound and let me tell you, it is very heavy).

As much as everyone hates suffering I believe it helps you find yourself, it makes you more analytical of things, it makes you ponder more about life and its purpose and gives you experience and wisdom. I don’t think any other feeling can do all that and more.

Robert Browning Hamilton, the poet wisely wrote:

I walked a mile with Pleasure
She chatted all the way,
But left me none the wiser
For all she had to say.
I walked a mile with Sorrow
And ne”er a word said she;
But oh, the things I learned from her
When Sorrow walked with me!

I think a lot of us at some point in our lives had questions or doubts about something related to Church, whether it was a policy or a doctrinal point or perhaps an obscure fact in LDS Church history. But let’s just say it was definitely something we struggled with and we tried our best to come into an understanding of that particular point, sometimes successfully and many times unsuccessfully.

For a lot of us, those points weren’t resolved in a few days or a few months”¦for a lot of us, sometimes those points still pretty much unresolved but we move forward hoping somehow that those points we struggled with will either disappear by magic, be reminded that ‘they are not important for our salvation” (If I have to get paid every time I know someone will use that phrase, I would be a billionaire), that we should repent for our lack of faith in “God’s chosen servants”, or simply be asked: “Why are you asking this”? with that tone of voice that only an FBI agent would use while investigating a case.

Do we realize how uncomfortable we are making people feel when we react this way? Oh wait, that’s the purpose?! They”re supposed to feel bad when questioning because questioning always equals wrong. Gotcha.

When someone has a question and hopes for an answer from you and you truly do not know the answer, there is absolutely nothing wrong with the words: “I do not know”. You can even tell the person that you think X person might know if that’s the case.

I feel we struggle with the concept of accepting we do not know all things, it is okay to say “I don’t know, sorry”. Heck, it is way better to say “I do not know” than to invent crazy theories or speak for the sake of using saliva. Not knowing doesn’t make us look dumb, it doesn’t make us weak, and it doesn’t make us less smart.

When someone is perhaps going through a Shaken Faith Syndrome period (As Brother Ash nailed the term a few years ago) it is vital that we could support the person in the best way we can and be there for them, as friends. Perhaps, we might not be able to help them with the answers they seek but it doesn’t stop us from continue fellowshipping with them.

Often times, like the Amish, Mormons have a ‘shunning” all of their own. This is not unique towards those who doubt or question, this same attitude sometimes is found towards those whose political views (Mormon Liberals) do not align with mainstream Mormonism.

Perhaps our shunning, isn’t the same as the one used by the Amish community when they completely ignore the person (Silent treatment) and pretend they do not exist but we do it, oh yes we do”¦very subtly to send the message across that we are not in favor with questioning and we do not wish to associate with someone whose faith is not as strong as ours or whose political views are questionable.

After all, questioning is contagious and we want to continue going to Church and fulfill our duties to the Lord. It is too risky and too dangerous to hang out around someone whose faith is weak, whose testimony (We think) is like the man who built his house upon the sand and there is no way on earth that *we* have room in our own beautiful brick house for someone like that.

Nope, those who build houses upon the sand must hang out with people who build houses upon the sand, plus they can feel more comfortable that way…you know, with people like them. Modern day lepers.

Leprosy in the old times was a sort of a death sentence and just like sin it grows very slowly, sometimes it stops and remits for a while but returns with time and does it in the worst shape and form, causing the total deformation of an individual and the complete numbness of the body parts (Pass feeling).

But you see, those experiencing Shaken Faith Syndrome are not sinners (Well, yes they sin but they are not sinners just for questioning). They are just normal people, trying to understand the incomprehensible.

They don’t need us to be in their case preaching them about why they should question. They have questions, they want to question, they have the right to question, they want to know!

They don’t need us to tell them that what they are asking is worthless, that it is not necessary for their ‘salvation”. Instead, they need validation, they need to be heard, they need someone who can at least empathize as they walk through their own journey.

Peter Abelard who was a medieval French philosopher and theologian said:

“By doubting we are led to question, by questioning we arrive at the truth”.

When was the last time you doubted anything? When was the last time you questioned anything? When was the last time you arrived to the truth you was seeking?

Questioning is part of growing and developing. When we try to measure people’s spirituality we fail horribly because we do not have all the facts, plus let’s face it, we are more religious than spiritual. A lot of people struggling in their faith, continue living according to the covenants they made when they were baptized.

They do not stand in testimony meeting crying non-stop (More tears, doesn’t equal stronger testimony) and a lot of them do not hold callings because they feel they need to take a break, pause and reflect and not because they have been disfellowshipped or excommunicated. So no, there is no need to peek or whisper to the person next to us whether or not they are taking the sacrament.

They are simply seeking. Juvenal said: “All wish to possess knowledge but, a few comparatively speaking, are willing to pay the price”.

What price are YOU willing to pay?

Like for instance, if you see your wife or girlfriend looking angry or upset, one of the first things you ask is “Honey, what’s wrong?” to your surprise she replies “Nothing”. You see that little word made of 7 letters? “Nothing””¦means actually “EVERYTHING”.

Of course, you can choose to go your merry way after she says that and make her angrier because you are being “insensitive” for not figuring out that she is NOT fine OR you can choose to remain at her side and try to find out what is wrong. However, keep in mind that in these sort of scenarios it is usually “damned if you do, damned if you don’t”. Whatever you choose to do, never ever ask if she is on her period, that question alone can be fatal followed by at least a 3 hour discussion/rebuke on why you would ask such a thing so you better stay out of trouble.

Here is a list of some subliminal expressions women use that I am sure you heard from your lady:

1. “I am fine”: Everything is wrong.

2. “We need to talk”: I have a long list of complaints and you better listen to them!

3. “I”ll be ready in 5 minutes”: I still have to shower, see about my hair, makeup, matching clothes and shoes and jewelry”¦I will be ready in 2 hours.

4. “I am not angry!”: But what the heck? Are you dumb? Don’t you see how upset I am!

5. “I have a headache”: I do not feel for sex tonight and no, I do not want an aspirin.

6. “Am I fat?”: You better tell me I am not fat or you will see son of a gun!

7. “I think we need some space”: I want you out of the picture and quickly.

8. “I think you are wonderful but..”: You suck.

9. “I like your friends but”¦”: I hate your friends.

10. “I don’t have shoes”: 200 pairs isn’t enough.

In Church you will hear some as well:

11. “I don’t mind a calling Bishop, I think I could give a lot of me to the Relief Society” : Don’t even think about putting me in Primary!

12. “My goodness, your hands are full!”: Are you trying to overpopulate the earth? You”re having too many children!

13. “Your children look very energetic and they love to explore”: Hey, your children are way too hyper and they are walking all over the chapel during sacrament meeting!

14. “Are those questions necessary for our Salvation?”: Stop asking questions I don’t know the answer for.

15. “I am sure, Sister Jones starves herself to be that slim after 5 children”: I wish I had her body!

You see…Women are sometimes like the female versions of Criss Angel Mindfreak, you know”¦ they play these little mental games on you and whatever you see or hear is often times just pure illusion. Of course, is up to you to figure out what they really mean but I warn you, the process can turn itself quickly into a Russian Roulette. Make the wrong move and boy, you are kaput.

The solution? The two most wonderful words of all times: Yes, dear.

However, little mention is given about another witness, the only woman who testified that she saw the plates : Mary Musselman Whitmer.

She was born in Germany on August 27, 1778 and married Peter Whitmer Sr. And together they raised eight children in a Presbyterian home. As I mentioned earlier, five of those children would later on become witnesses of the Book of Mormon.

The Whitmers heard about the Church through David Whitmer, one of their sons and David learned about the Church through Oliver Cowdery back in 1829 and they became good friends. David was told by Oliver Cowdery through a letter that things were getting out of hand in Pennsylvania and that they needed a place to complete the translation of the Book of Mormon and requested if they could do so at the Whitmer’s farm. This meant that Oliver Cowdery, Emma Smith and Joseph Smith would have to board in their home for a while.

Now, let’s keep in mind that the Whitmers had also a large family of their own to look after and a farm and there wasn’t such a thing as dishwashers, washers or driers. Mary Whitmer was the one that probably carried a lot of the work around the farm like it was expected from women at the time and certainly, she wasn’t a young girl, she was in her 50’s.

David asked his parents for permission and explained to them how he met Oliver and what he told him about the plates. After a lot of thought and a few miracles, they decided to allow them to stay in their farm as long as it was needed.

So Mary (Not only) had to look after her large family, heavy domestic chores, the cooking, the cleaning and the farm, but also had now three extra people to see about. She was just human and felt exhausted and overwhelmed. I am pretty sure, most of us would feel the same way too, heck sometimes you just throw the dishes in the dishwasher but still complain that you have no help.

Mary’s grandson, John C. Whitmer in 1878 detailed an experience:

“One evening, when (After having done her usual day’s work n the house) she went to the barn to milk the cows, she met a stranger carrying something on his back that looked like a knapsack. At first she was a little afraid of him, but when he spoke to her in a kind, friendly tone and began to explain to her the nature of the work which was going on in her house, she was filled with inexpressible joy and satisfaction.

He then untied his knapsack and showed her a bundle of plates, which in size and appearance corresponded with the description subsequently given by the witnesses to the Book of Mormon. This strange person turned the leaves of the book of plates over, leaf after leaf, and also showed her the engravings upon them; after which he told her to be patient and faithful in bearing her burden a little longer, promising that if she would do so, she should be blessed; and her reward would be sure, if she proved faithful to the end. The personage then suddenly vanished with the plates, and where he went, she could not tell.

From that moment my grandmother was enabled to perform her household duties with comparative ease, and she felt no more inclination to murmur because her lot was hard. I knew my grandmother to be a good, noble and truthful woman, and I have not the least doubt of her statement in regard to seeing the plates being strictly true. She was a strong believer in the Book of Mormon until the day of her death.”

Yes, a woman “¦a mom, a homemaker to boot, milking cows was privileged to see the plates. Mother Whitmer continued doing all her work quietly after her experience, the milking without modern equipment, cooking without fancy electric stoves, doing the washing without a washing machine and sewing.

When Joseph Smith finished the translation, he asked Oliver Cowdery to make a second copy of the manuscript to take to the printer just in case. This manuscript was later given to David Whitmer and just like the first one, it was also hand-sewn with string by Mary Whitmer herself.

Mother Whitmer’s example reminds us that what we perceive to be small, little contributions that sometimes we think go unnoticed or unappreciated, are indeed seen by a Heavenly Father who sees in secret “¦and he is just waiting to rewards us openly.

But wait a minute…Does this mean that after reading this story you will start doing dishes and vacuuming happily ever after? If that’s the case, I can give you my address so you can spread that joy to my dishes and carpet anytime you wish, see how caring I am?

We send 18 year olds to missions to proselyte for the Church and during those two years they cannot watch tv or date or live the life of a regular teenager (And hear what? They are the ones who paid to go in the first place!) We give 10 percent of our income to the Church and we even accept “callings” or responsibilities to help. We are crazyyy, I know!

But what about swearing? Do Mormons swear? When we think about swearing within a Mormon context, the first person that comes to our minds is J. Golden Kimball, a seventy known for using the words “hell” and “da**” very often. President Heber J. Grant really tried to get him to speak differently but Golden was determined to maintain his true self:

“I don’t know about this here eternal marriage business. But it seems to me that if you can’t live with the sons-of-b*****on earth the Lord won’t force you to remain with them in heaven.”

“Some people say a person receives a position in this church through revelation, and others say they get it through inspiration, but I say they get it through relation. If I hadn’t been related to Heber C. Kimball I wouldn’t have been a da** thing in this church.”

“Cut me off from the Church? They can’t do that! I repent do da** fast!”

“You may have noticed, brothers and sisters, that I keep waving these papers. Well, this is the Lord’s s**t list, and all your names are on it.”

I wonder what people would say if in General Conference a Seventy stands up and talks like Golden Kimball? I can imagine that all of the sudden the mic will be disconnected and they will announce ‘technical difficulties”.

But Mormons are very creative, and we came up with our own versions of cursing words throughout the years such as:

Son of a biscuit!
Flip!
Fetch!
Holy Macaroni!
Fudge!
Oh poo!

Some people think it is okay to use substitutes and others think the intention behind it is what it counts so they shouldn’t be used at all. What are your thoughts? Do you agree or disagree with the use of fake cursing words? If you agree, do you have any favorites?

And flip guys! Leave a freaking comment for Pete’s sake.

Then you have the wife (Caroline Ingalls) who was what we would call in LDS lingo, a typical Molly Mormon. She never burned the food because she was an amazing cook, never ever shouted at the children despite the fact that sometimes they did wrong things such as cheating, disobeying, or lying and never, ever complained about how many dishes she had to wash, or how many breads she had to bake or how many chickens she had to butcher or the fact that she never had money to shop for things she liked in the local mercantile owned by Mr and Mrs. Oleson.

So when you think about Brigham Young and his 50 something wives you gotta wonder: How the heck did he do it? I mean, seriously. If I was a man, I couldn’t imagine being married to so many women. Why? Because pioneer women or not, we are sometimes a pain in the a**. My grandmother used to say that 10 men can live peacefully in one room but two women cannot live peacefully in a mansion. Add ONE husband to the mix and is the perfect setting for a novel, Hollywood movie or a reality TV series.

Young had a very hard time accepting Polygamy, he said it was the first time in his life that he desired the grave and he would feel envy for corpses at funerals and regret that he was not the one in the coffin! He had some wonderful wives who loved him and cared for him but perhaps you wonder. Is it possible for a husband to provide economically, physically, sexually, emotionally and equally to 50 something wives? The thing is, not every single wife lived with Young and a lot of these relationships were non-conjugal.

A little over a quarter of those women also had children with him and because of his many Church responsibilities, and his travels, he was often times an absent husband and father. I am not stating this as a criticism, but as historical fact and as much as I can empathize with his desire to fulfill God’s commandments, I have to also empathize with his wives and children whom desired to spend more time with him but were unable to do so.

One of these wives was Augusta Adams who wrote to Young hundreds of letters and in a good portion of them, expressing how lonely she felt. Ann Eliza Young was also another of his wives who wasn’t afraid to express how she felt. As a matter of fact, she was so unhappy about the relationship with Young, that she applied for a civil divorce on grounds of cruel treatment and neglect between other reasons.

Later on, she was excommunicated and wrote “Wife No. 19 or the story of the life in bondage, being a complete expose of Mormonism and revealing the sorrows, sacrifices and sufferings of women in polygamy”, some refer to this book as probably one of the first anti-Mormon literature writings, because it denounces Mormonism as a false religion.

Ann was certainly not the only wife to ask him for a divorce. Mary Woodward who was married to him for quite a short period of time, also requested a divorce. The interesting thing is that Young never argued when they requested him such a thing, he would grant the divorce immediately and yet offer further assistance if they needed financial help (Even though they will no longer be considered his wives). Mary Ann Clark Powers, Mary Jane Bigelow, Mary Ann Turley, Elizabeth Fairchild and Eliza Babcock all requested a divorce from Brigham Young and a few of them re-married.

Yup, he wasn’t Charles Ingalls and their wives weren’t Caroline but yet again, this wasn’t a TV show but a real life situation. These wives weren’t the only ones complaining about Plural marriage, many early brethren talked about fights, gossiping, murmuring and jealousy. Brigham Young gave the following ultimatum to the sisters in the Church after being fed up with the complaining:

“Now for my proposition; it is more particularly for my sisters, as it is frequently happening that women say they are unhappy. Men will say, “My wife, though a most excellent woman, has not seen a happy day since I took my second wife;” “No, not a happy day for a year,” says one; and another has not seen a happy day for five years. It is said that women are tied down and abused: that they are misused and have not the liberty they ought to have; that many of them are wading through a perfect flood of tears, because of the conduct of some men, together with their own folly.

I wish my own women to understand that what I am going to say is for them as well as others, and I want those who are here to tell their sisters, yes, all the women of this community, and then write it back to the States, and do as you please with it. I am going to give you from this time to the 6th day of October next, for reflection, that you may determine whether you wish to stay with your husbands or not, and then I am going to set every woman at liberty and say to them, now go your way, my women with the rest, go your way. And my wives have got to do one of two things; either round up their shoulders to endure the afflictions of this world, and live their religion or they may leave, for I will not have them about me. I will go into heaven alone, rather than have scratching and fighting around me. I will set all at liberty. “What, first wife too?” Yes, I will liberate you all.

I know what my women will say; they will say, “You can have as many women as you please, Brigham.” But I want to go somewhere and do something to get rid of the whiners; I do not want them to receive a part of the truth and spurn the rest out of doors.

I wish my women, and brother Kimball’s and brother Grant’s to leave, and every woman in this Territory, or else say in their hearts that they will embrace the Gospel-the whole of it. Tell the Gentiles that I will free every woman in this Territory at our next Conference. “What, the first wife too?” Yes, there shall not be one held in bondage, all shall be set free. And then let the father be the head of the family, the master of his own household; and let him treat them as an angel would treat them; and let the wives and the children say amen to what he says, and be subject to his dictates, instead of their dictating the man, instead of their trying to govern him.

No doubt some are thinking, “I wish brother Brigham would say what would become of the children.” I will tell you what my feelings are; I will let my wives take the children, and I have property enough to support them, and can educate them, and then give them a good fortune, and I can take a fresh start…

Sisters, I am not joking, I do not throw out my proposition to banter your feelings, to see whether you will leave your husbands, all or any of you. But I do know that there is no cessation to the everlasting whining of many of the women in this Territory; I am satisfied that this is the case. And if the women will turn from the commandments of God and continue to despise the order of heaven, I will pray that the curse of the Almighty may be close to their heels, and that it may be following them all the day long. And those that enter into it and are faithful, I will promise them that they shall be queens in heaven, and rulers to all eternity.

Prepare yourselves for two weeks from tomorrow; and I will tell you now, that if you will tarry with your husbands, after I have set you free, you must bow down to it, and submit yourselves to the celestial law. You may go where you please, after two weeks from tomorrow; but, remember, that I will not hear any more of this whining.” (Journal of Discourses Vol. 5 pages 56-57).”

Men always complain about wives whining and fighting and they have only one”¦well, imagine that pressure times 55(Add to that the fact that you have to support them financially and otherwise) and whatever crazy idea you have of living this law here on Earth will seem like something you wish it never happen to you.

Well, I know for a fact that I wouldn’t be able to handle polyandry, too much drama for a Cheeky Mormon. You see, when women perhaps fought in a polygamous marriage what they probably did?

Well, what women usually do: They shout, they call each other nasty names (You are fat as a balloon wife number 4! And you are as flat as an iron board wife number 5, ha!). If they go physical in an extreme situation probably there will be some hair pulling and the show is practically over but with men…

Now THAT’S a different story, first will be the competition. (My carriage has more horses than yours, husband number 3! And? Pfffff who cares? I have a stagecoach husband number 6!)

And of course, then will be the physical. There will be broken noses, broken legs, broken ribs, broken every -single -part-of -the- body! Did I say blood? Yup, blood. Let’s face it, more blood men see.. manlier they seem to feel.

So excuse me if I am not interested folks, I don’t wish that sort of melodrama in real life, there are enough Latin American soap operas and Jerry Springer TV shows.

“That priesthood can be conferred on a man, this is true, they can be given authority but they cannot have power unless they are pure. So it’s very important for us to continue to talk standards, to teach them, and to encourage them, young men and young women, to be guardians of virtue, their own virtue and others because there are so many who say “It is not a young women’s problem if a boy is doing something wrong. If she is immodest, it’s not her problem if the boy does something wrong.” Well it is! We have to take responsibility for one another, we have to help one another.”

In general terms, I agree with the concept that we are here to help one another after all we are our brother’s keeper and yes, she talked about young men and young women being the guardians of virtue however her last sentence that pointed out specifically young women being somewhat at fault or responsible if a guy does something wrong didn’t digest very well into my system.

I”m kind of tired of the belief that young men or men are somehow testosterone freaks running around wildly waiting for a woman to pass by so they can jump to them (If given the chance) Of course, if they are not properly restrained by heavy chains and ropes in the form of a wonder woman whose job is to ensure they don’t fall into temptation.

Do we really believe that our young women or women do not experience sexual tension of any kind when they see someone they are very attracted to?

Seriously?

If they are able to control their sexual urges (Generally speaking) and expect it to do so, why do young men or men then need them to help them? And how exactly are expected to help them? Oh, perhaps by dressing modesty? Will that help boys? I can imagine”¦all of the sudden all the urges that previously haunted our young men or men in the Church will magically dissapear once we start seeing our young women dressed perhaps in religious habits?

Darn it, something tells me that it won’t help because those feelings are completely natural and I”m quite sure they would still feel that way even if our females were wearing burkas.

Perhaps, that’s one point I think we need to address better in the Church. Often times, our youth and young single adults as well believe those urges are sinful and dirty. Well breaking news folks, sex is NOT dirty, and they need to know that. Once we establish once and for all that those urges are natural, that sex isn’t dirty they will be able to control those urges better without feeling guilty or dirty about it.

Of course, we do need to emphasize the importance of those urges being controlled and the fact that sex outside marriage is a clear violation of the law of chastity.

This is a lot to handle for any young man or woman and I believe both are equally responsible for their own virtue and control of such feelings. Because of this, I wish we wouldn’t throw towards the women the responsibility of ensuring that the males in the Church don’t mess up or they are somehow made feel at fault if they do mess up. See? It’s your fault! Your cleavage made me do it! See? It’s your fault for wearing those tight pants! See? It’s your fault, because you didn’t stop me!

We seriously need to stop the thinking that the way a young woman or woman dresses makes our men literally so out of control that just seeing a pair of very short shorts will turn them into sexualized beasts who are totally unable to think or reason in any way, shape or form.

One of the best quotes I ever heard about this topic and it comes from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland stating the following in a BYU devotional back in the 1980’s:

I”ve heard all my life that it is the young woman who has to assume the responsibility for controlling the limits of intimacy in courtship because a young man cannot. Seldom have I heard any point made on this subject that makes me want to throw up more than that.

What kind of man is he, what priesthood or power or strength or self-control does this man have that lets him develop in society, grow to the age of mature accountability, perhaps even pursue a university education and prepare to affect the future of colleagues and kingdoms and the course of this world world, but yet does not have the mental capacity or the moral will to say, “I will not do that thing”.

No, this sorry drugstore psychology would have him say, “I just can’t help myself. My glands have complete control over my entire life, my mind, my will, my very future.”

To say that a young woman in such a relationship has to bear her responsibility and that of his too is the most discriminatory doctrine I have ever heard”

You can listen to the audio here:

Http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5PBqxwlfHI&feature=youtu.be&t=31m47s

And read the “change” version here:

Http://emp.byui.edu/marrottr/HollndSoulsSymbSacrs.pdf

In the transcript, the part where he says: “Seldom have I heard any point made on this subject that makes me want to throw up more than that” was changed to “What an unacceptable response to such a serious issue!”. Also, the part where he says “…is the most discriminatory doctrine I have ever heard” was changed to “..is the least fair assertion I can imagine”.

When we realize that all this is truly about trusting our young men and their capabilities, the burden will be lifted automatically and there will no longer be a need for any young woman to come to the rescue when they are ready to fall, instead they will be there for support and not as 911 operators.

Me: Hello?

Person: Good Morning. I would like to speak with Shelly (not real name).

Me: Sure, who’s calling?

Person: Nephi

Me: Ummm” I beg your pardon?

Person: I said, Nephi

Me talking to Shelly: Hey Shelly, you have a phone call

Shelly: Who is it?

Me: Nephi

Shelly: Who?

Me: Nephi!

Shelly: Oh, come on STOP IT, it’s too early for this!

Me: I am not kidding you! Nephi is indeed on the phone!

*Shelly walks away shaking her head in disbelief*

Me to Nephi: I’m sorry Nephi, Shelly walked out

Nephi: Why?!

Me: Because she doesn’t believe you’re Nephi

Nephi: How come?

Me: I don’t know how to say this, no offense but… I think it’s because you’re supposed to be dead

Nephi: …………

Me: Hello?

*Call ended sound*

Older I get, less rigid I become. Is it happening to you? I was thinking today about myself when I was 15 compared to now (noo, I am NOT going to tell you my exact age smarty-pants!).

I am not particularly more emotional (unless you decide to tell me that Taco Bell’s $1 deal is over and if that’s true: Houston, weve got a problem! but seriously, I realize that I am not as stiffed and rigid as I was years ago.

When I was 15, if someone would offer me a coffee candy it would be like if they”re asking me to drink 5 bottles of liquor, tequila and rum all at the same time. I would decline immediately citing religious reasons; the other person’s face was always a mix of comedy (because the first thing they did was laugh but upon realizing I wasn’t laughing their face was more like”¦”you”re kidding right?”) and total disbelief.

Oh and don’t let me get started with dating. Every guy (non-member) who showed any interest in me romantically would be categorize immediately as a PLOCB= Possible Law Of Chastity Breaker and every single part of my body would have invisible colorful and noisy little alarms that will go off at the slightest attempt to touch anything that you’re not supposed to touch. Even if they didn’t try to do anything, I didn’t give them the chance to get to know me, after all they were non-members and in my way of thinking, not worth enough the risk.

Every less-active person was less-active because their testimonies were very weak and not like mine because I was always “active “and so sure of everything. I was the perfect critic of those parents who didn’t seem to know how to handle their children in Church, about that young woman coming with a skirt I deemed too short, that young man who only speaks stupid things in my class and doesn’t seem to understand that if he doesn’t come with a white shirt he is not worthy enough to pass the Sacrament, foolish boy. I was so happy I wasn’t like them. I was BETTER.

Then I experienced what I call an epiphany-process. No, I didn’t see God or Jesus or Angels and it wasn’t one event that gave me that understanding. The epiphany came through several and rough life changing challenges and situations (that I continue experience on a daily basis) that made me realize that things of the Spirit are not as rigid as I thought they were but instead there was room for understanding, there was room for flexibility, there was room for patience, acceptance and meekness. It came the deep understanding that not everything is black or white.

I believe religion should help us become a more tolerant bunch of folks. Being tolerant doesn’t mean agreeing, it means you are willing to accept that someone thinks differently than you and act differently than you but you’re heck ready to love them sincerely regardless of those choices.

I don’t know if age is bringing these thoughts to my life but I like it.