Category: Uncategorized

As you all know, the Boy Scouts of America (BSA) recently ended a century old ban that prohibited openly gay members from joining the organization. After a lot of careful consideration, they decided to lift the ban. I”m happy. I know a lot of members of the Church disagree with this decision but I personally think it’s wonderful and a great step towards allowing openly gay Scout leaders.

The BSA’s decision is in perfect harmony with the Gospel of Jesus Christ, why? Simply because Jesus has been an example of love and acceptance. A lot of people seem to believe that you have to agree with someone’s lifestyle in order to accept them and love them, what a misconception and wasted opportunity! I do a lot of things that I”m quite sure makes Heavenly Father sad and disappointed, yet he never hold that love away from me, he still loves me with ALL my shortcomings and cheekiness.

How can’t He not love and accept a child of His, created in His image just because his/her sexual orientation is different than the norm? How can’t He not accept someone who had these feelings since they have memory? How can’t He, our FATHER, not love his own child?

After reading a lot of discussions about this issue with members of the Church, it left me deeply sad. Not because I think differently (everyone is entitled to their opinion) but because I imagine what the scenario would be like if some of the members who disagree with the lifting of this ban would do if they had the power to admit or reject gay people from Church membership. The possible outcome of this scenario is terrifying.

One of the arguments is that openly gay boys will be sleeping in tents with other boys. Don’t you all think this is already happening? There are already gay boys in our Church who go to camping activities with other boys and they are sleeping in the same tent. The issue here seems to be the fact that as long as you don’t know about it, it is okay because in your mind they are all ‘straight” and there is nothing to “worry” about; it’s a sort of denial symptom. Gay people just happen to feel attracted to folks of their same gender, that’s ALL. Gay men can perfectly fulfill any other gender role expected by society and lesbians as well.

Often times, I am asked why this issue is so important to me as an heterosexual woman. It is because since I was a little girl, I detested injustices. My sister used to call me “Amnesty International”. I was the one who would defend classmates when the big and tall bully was taking away their lunch in school even though I was a tiny and small little girl myself. I was the one who would stand between a gay classmate and the bullies who would make fun of him and tease him endlessly. I don’t know why I have been like that and still I am, it is almost like a strong sense/ feeling of deep responsibility I feel and the urge to stand up and defend those who need help.

Martin Niemöller wrote:

First they came for the socialists,
And I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a socialist.

Then they came for the trade unionists,
And I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews,
And I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a Jew.

Then they came for me,
And there was no one left to speak for me.

I know I think differently than mainstream Mormonism, I know I”m perhaps unorthodox in some of my views but wouldn’t be wonderful if we could all agree and understand that this isn’t US vs. THEM? This isn’t about agreeing or condoning. This is about understanding that as Latter Day-Saints and as peculiar people, our peculiarity should be about showing kindness, love and acceptance to those who the world think and perceive as different but that our Heavenly Father only sees as His children. However, often times our peculiarity is sided towards being intolerant, judgmental, supercilious and contemptuous. How sad.

“As a church, nobody should be more loving and compassionate. Let us be at the forefront in terms of expressing love, compassion and outreach. Let’s not have families exclude or be disrespectful of those who choose a different lifestyle as a result of their feelings about their own gender.” (Elder Quentin L. Cook).

As Mother Theresa wisely said:

“When you judge people, you have no time to love them”.

About the author: Cheeky Mormon lived in many countries around the world and she is bilingual. Besides being incredibly good looking according to her mother, witty according to her fans, smart according to her past teachers and of course humble according to herself, she loves to sing and spend time with loved ones.

She is also an amateur LDS historian and spends a lot of time researching, studying and writing. Her biggest accomplishment: Remaining relatively sane despite the odds.

For a long time I wanted to write a serious post on the issue of rape and how the topic has been treated in the past and how sometimes some of those notions continue to be a common belief in our Church culture.

The dictionary definition of rape is the unlawful compelling of a person through physical force or duress to have sexual intercourse.

In every rape case there is a perpetrator and a victim. The type of sexual abuse I would like to address is the male being the perpetrator and the female being the victim.

Based on quotes I read or comments I heard, it seems to exist this concept that often times the rape victim isn’t completely a victim. Let me explain”¦

Have you ever heard the following comments when someone is talking about a recent case of rape?

1. It happened at 2:00am while she was making out with this guy in a car!? She is crazy! She looked for it!

2. Why she was dressed so provocative? Seriously? Why was she wearing a miniskirt and such revealing top! She looked for it!

3. What was she doing taking public transportation at that hour and by herself? It looks like she was looking for it!

4. Doesn’t she work in a strip club? What does she expect when she is half naked dancing? She looked for it!

5. She met this guy online and went on a date by herself! What in the world was she thinking? She looked for it!

I never understood the reasoning behind those who believe someone is “looking to be raped” by the way they dress or the actions they perform.

We could debate all day whether or not the actions were wise or foolish with regards to being in an unsafe place at the wrong time, etc but looking to be raped due to such actions is not something that I can easily chew or digest.

So the victim not only has to deal with the painful and torturous scars of sexual abuse but also she has to deal with the unkind remarks of those who perceive she has some sort of responsibility for such horrendous act. Such victimization is almost like to be raped all over again.

What Church leaders have said about rape and victims in the past? Let’s take a look:

“The victim must do all in his or her power to stop the abuse. Most often, the victim is innocent because of being disabled by fear or the power or authority of the offender. At some point in time, however, the Lord may prompt a victim to recognize a degree of responsibility for abuse. Your priesthood leader will help assess your responsibility so that, if needed, it can be addressed. Otherwise the seeds of guilt will remain and sprout into bitter fruit. Yet no matter what degree of responsibility, from absolutely none to increasing consent, the healing power of the atonement of Jesus Christ can provide a complete cure.”

Http://www.lds.org/general-conference/print/1992/04/healing-the-tragic-scars-of-abuse?lang=eng

“Also far-reaching is the effect of loss of chastity. Once given or taken or stolen it can never be regained. Even in forced contact such as rape or incest, the injured one is greatly outraged. If she has not cooperated and contributed to the foul deed, she is of course in a more favorable position. There is no condemnation where there is absolutely no voluntary participation. It is better to die in defending one’s virtue than to live having lost it without a struggle.” (President Spencer W. Kimball, The Miracle of Forgiveness)

We don’t hear many of these quotes anymore but they are easily available.

Many years ago, I attended a ward where we received instruction in Karate. The husband of a sister in Relief Society and EQ President was an instructor and he taught us how to defend ourselves in case of an attack. He then asked what we will do if a guy has a knife or a gun and tries to steal from us. Everyone agreed that we would give him all our money and we will not try to fight because he was obviously holding the weapons, however when he asked what would we do if instead the man would try to rape us (I know, the situation and the questions were quite odd for a church activity), most women including his wife said they would rather die than to be raped because they won’t allow anyone to take away their virtue.

I will never forget that day because I thought for a few seconds and then I raised my hand and asked: How exactly is virtue taken away from someone who is being raped?

Do we continue teaching indirectly that it is better to die fighting than to live and become a rape survivor? Do we truly realize what it encompasses?

I know this is a very delicate topic and there is a lot of room for disagreement. Personally, I wish we could teach more that if someone is in such horrendous situation, surviving should be paramount”¦

Take for example, Martha* she is a wonderful, joyful lady that ensures my desk at work is always clean and looks after my needs as well as the needs of my colleagues.

I was having one of those sad days a few weeks ago when she greeted me with a big smile on her face and asked me how I am doing. I said I was kind of okay and she replied saying “God is good” and started singing a song about Him.

I looked at her and asked her what is her secret? How is it possible that she is always so happy and cheerful? She looked at me for a few seconds”¦stopped what she was doing and told me she has been a victim of abuse all her life. Both her brother and father raped her since she was a baby until well after adulthood. I was perplexed, shocked, not knowing exactly what to do or say neither I could understand how someone who went through so much in life could still choose to remain joyful and happy about life and God.

She noted my surprise face”¦came closer, touched my shoulder and said “God is my pillar. If I don’t have Him, I have nothing. And I don’t question Him, I don’t spend my days thinking why *me*, I think he made me an instrument in His hands so I could go around and cheer people up and let others know that sexual abuse is NOT the end. I am the living proof of it!”.

I stood there standing face to face, trying unsuccessfully to imagine how life has been for Martha during all those years. She was there day after day trying to make the best she could out of life and trying in her small way, help and teach others that she is a survivor.

For some, the test of a fighter comes during the ordeal until death if necessary to preserve honor…for others, the test of a fighter comes after the earthquake, the aftermath….with hundreds of aftershocks and trials but trying to remain strong and ready to give a hand to feeble knees who need them.

*Not her real name

We make assumptions about people on a daily basis, consciously or unconsciously. We create our personal perception of them based on their physical appearance, education, race and social status between a million other things.

Assuming seems to be the fastest course of action but it can also be a very destructive tool in relationships. When we meet someone for the first time, within seconds we seem to believe we know the kind of person they are without allowing the other individual to fully reveal themselves.

As Latter-Day Saints we seem to assume a lot about people’s worthiness based on our limited understanding of their personal lives or circumstances. We seem to have created “worthiness models” and when someone doesn’t seem to be fit that description, we classify them quickly in the” unworthy” box without even bothering in finding out more or simply giving the benefit of the doubt.

As Mormons, we are not very different than non-Mormons about assuming things about others, however because of our doctrine about eternity and the Celestial Kingdom between others; we need to be very cautious about how we go around sharing things that might damage another person’s spirituality. The truth is, we do not know the other person’s situation and just like the hymn “Lord, I would follow thee” says:

“¦In the quiet heart is hidden, Sorrow that the eye can’t see…

Wilfried Decoo wrote a wonderful story about assuming a few years ago. Hope it can touch your heart as much as it did to mine…

What do we know about the covert life of our members? Take Irma.

She was around sixty when I, a young convert, got to know her. Each Sunday morning she shuffled from the front door to her chair in the living room we called our chapel. Always the same seat, third row on the right. She sat down, her chest heaving. It would take her a few minutes to ease down. The creases on her face exuded an elemental sadness. Her dress, outmoded, hung over her knees, but unable to hide the webs of varicose veins on her swollen lower legs. She had the portly contour of the worn-out female worker, tenacious but tired, fed for years on cheap fatty rations. She was from a submissive generation.

– Good morning. Good to see you, Irma.
She nodded slowly, a little dazed, pleased to be recognized.

We knew she had a problem. Coffee. It was obvious from her sporadic questions in Sunday School or Relief Society.
– Can coffee keep someone out of heaven?
– What if someone obeys all the commandments, except coffee?

Irma had been baptized quite a few years ago. She belonged to that group of early Antwerp pioneers, a leftover of immersions in the city’s swimming pool, by missionaries long gone. The details of her conversion were scant. Her husband did not join. Still, he had given permission for her baptism, but never attended Church. Irma had made clear that home or visiting teachers were out of the question.

Her faith was simple and straightforward. In any lesson, when questions were so clear-cut to be unanswerable for those who thought to be wise, she was the one to respond promptly, with the echoing orderliness of the Catholic catechism she remembered from her childhood years:
– Why is it important that we obey God’s commandments?
– It is important because they come from God.
– How do we know they come from God?
– We know because it’s said in the Bible.

But that coffee problem remained. More than once the teacher, spurred on to act upon the needs of the individual, prepared a special lesson on the Word of Wisdom. About the evil chemicals in coffee. The diseases it fostered. About David O. McKay politely but firmly refusing the cup of tea the Dutch Queen offered him. The touchstone of our commitment. Irma listened, hunching up on her chair, soaking in the words. We knew she got the message.

When I was called as branch president, I interviewed her. She looked down, avoiding eye contact, as if sitting in a confessional struggling with guilt, and evaded answers. I was too young, twenty-three, too innocent to be able to probe behind the weathered face.

One night, not long after the interview, I got a phone call. It was her daughter. As she introduced herself, I sensed the same limitations as Irma’s. She spoke in dialect, trying to sanitize vowels into proper Dutch. It sounded clumsy.
– You’re the Mormon priest, aren’t you?

Sad news, she said. Mother has been hit by a car while crossing the street. Killed instantly.

I scrambled for the right words.
– Don’t feel sorry, she said. It’s better for her. You know what I mean.
–  I am not sure I knew her that well.
– You know my father is a beast. Mom must have told you.

It all came out. Irma had bargained her permission to be baptized at the expense of increased abuse. It was the first time in my life I heard the raw details of the evil hidden behind tidy doors.
– And then there was that thing with coffee.

– I know, I said naively.
– Yeah, he forced her. That was the deal: on Sundays, he wouldn’t let her go to your church, unless she first drank coffee with him. He knew how to get her. But she loved you people. You’ve been good to her.

Irma got a Catholic funeral. Her husband refused any other arrangement. A day after the burial a handful of us went to the cemetery to bid our own adieu. I dedicated the grave – that her body may rest undisturbed till the morning of the first resurrection. Next to the temporary black cross planted in the churned up soil we laid a modest wreath. On the ribbon it said: “From the Mormons, To a Saint.”

Irma, up there in glory, forgive us for not having understood, for not having searched for more inspiration. And, at least in your case, for the inept lessons on coffee.

Many years ago, I was called as the Visiting Teacher Coordinator. The Bishop asked me to meet and we sat down in his office. He pulled one of the Relief Society books that explain the kind of calling I was about to receive, and started saying: “In a ward with a large number of women, a sister may be called”¦. Blah blah blah”¦ make sure it is done effectively. Additionally, visiting teaching supervisors may help the blah blah blah blah She may be assigned to blah blah blah .”

Me: Bishop, with all due respect”¦Are you going to continue saying blah blah blah or you are going to take the time to explain? He laughed, apologized and read it properly.

I am sure some of you will agree: Home and Visiting Teaching are probably some of the most challenging programs in the Church and depending on your location, there seems to be many ways to get it done including a phone call, email or a simple letter .When I moved to a new ward many years ago, the Relief Society boasted 100% Visiting Teaching success but only 10% of them were actual home visits.

After serving many years as a Visiting Teacher Coordinator, one question seemed to be asked over and over and over again, yes you guessed well:

“Sister Cheeky Mormon, does it count?”

Why is it that we are so worried that our visit, email or phone call “counts”? Why is it that it seems to be our primary concern over the welfare of the sister or family we are visiting?

If one thing I admire about Jehovah Witnesses is their amazing willingness to visit and preach the Gospel. They”re great at doing that and I think we could learn a thing or two from them in that aspect. Often times, I wonder if we are worried about whether it counts because we are either concerned that we will be nagged to death about having it done so we want our leaders off our backs rather quickly so we get it done reluctantly OR we seem to have the false impression that having it “count” will make us look more spiritual as we pat our backs saying “well done, its over”.

For once, it would be so nice if the primary focus could be shifted to the sister or families we visit instead of ourselves. There are many souls within our wards who are in desperately need, not only of a VT or HT but a friend, a guardian angel even a savior.

I am not sure if we often times, we realize how magnificent and precious is to be a Visiting Teacher or a Home Teacher or simply a Brother or Sister and how much we can truly bless the lives of others. Compassion isn’t something we are born with but instead is something we learn from life and experiences. It makes us who we are…

My grandmother, an illiterate Italian descendant was a grumpy, feminist, outspoken and opinionated lady that taught me the most powerful lessons in life. She wasn’t the typical grandma who bakes cookies and speaks softly. She was instead the one that counseled me as a young child that if I do happen to get married to ensure “Not to cook every single day otherwise your family will get used to your cooking and with the excuse that you cook oh so well they will enslave you in the kitchen forever”. She was one of a kind.

One of the things I remember the most about her is seeing her compassion in action rather than words. She would literally give of her own substance to someone in need without thinking twice, even if that meant she wouldn’t have any for herself, many of the families she helped throughout the years through little secret acts of compassion wrote me after her funeral and told me she was the answer to many prayers to Heavenly Father when they didn’t have anything to eat. I was moved.

Many times I thought how is it that my grandmother developed such love and compassion towards others? I think the answers lies on the fact that she grew up as an orphan and at the age of 13 she had to work to take care of her siblings on her own because there were no relatives willing to adopt her or her siblings. She was illiterate because as a young child she also had to take care of her ill mother who was dying of cancer and because of that, she couldn’t attend school.

You see, you learn life lessons from every single person you meet in life no matter their background, education, life or religion and she was definitely my most near example of Christ-like behavior. Oh, how I love her and miss her.

There are many wounded hearts in our wards that cry at night without us knowing, many fake smiles that pretend that “everything is great”, many people with health conditions or serious financial difficulties, many hearts who feel neglected, abused and abandoned, many who carry heavy burdens and dark secrets. People just like you and me who need US”¦a helping hand, an ear to listen”¦Don’t we want to help them? Don’t we wish to be there for them?

Often times when I feel too lazy to do what is right I wonder, what would grandma do or say if she was here? And I almost seem to hear a loud voice in the background saying: “Rats! Stop worrying about if it counts or not for heaven’s sake and get the d*** visit done, someone needs you NOW!“

And I smile.

 

 

I think we can all agree that testimony meeting in the Church can be an uplifting spiritual experience or it can become quickly what I would refer to as a “Close Encounter of The Third Kind”, you know”¦When you are not really sure where you are and some of the things you are seeing or hearing seem to come from a science fiction drama of some sort. Not surprising though, we ARE a peculiar people.

I thought in writing for you some of my most memorable “Close Encounters Of The Third Kind” I experienced throughout the years, please feel free to add your own in the comments section below:

1. This recently baptized member told me one Saturday that he would get up and say in testimony meeting how the missionaries offered him money for sex. This guy had a disability but he was determined to say that in sacrament meeting. I informed the Bishop in advance so he could prepare. Man, how do you prepare for that?

As soon as the guy approached the microphone, the Bishop looked at me “¦. I looked at him back not knowing exactly what to do and we were both literally at the edge of our seats ready to jump on the guy like in the TV show “Cops”…

Then while looking at me and smiling, the guy said the words: “I would like to say that the missionaries”¦.” Holy Macaroni! When those words were said the Bishop frantically got up and held his arm tightly, whispered something and tried unsuccessfully to remove him from the microphone. He eventually did and as he was escorting him out of the room the guy kept shouting “why are you stopping me from sharing my testimony! Let me go! Why I cannot say how grateful I am for the missionaries!”. Phew, THAT was close.

2. In another ward, there was a sweet old lady that would come to Church only in testimony meeting. She would come late, and would always have a bouquet of flowers with her. As soon as she entered the sacrament meeting room; she would make the sign of the cross while kneeling and then proceed to place the flowers near the microphone. After that, she would start her testimony with a prayer to the Virgin Mary and would always finish her testimony reminding us to pray to Saint Anthony. Good times.

3. How can I forget the time I met Adolf Hitler?”¦Well his “double”. This man would come to testimony meeting dressed as Adolf Hitler and by that I mean, the mustache, the clothes, the boots, everything!. He would even speak with an accent His testimony was mostly a rant about Jews and Communism. The Bishop and him got into a heated argument after Adolf said some bad things. The missionaries eventually visited him in an attempt to help him and the next time I saw him (a few months later) he came back dressed this time as a missionary (with a fake tag, super short hair and clean shaven).

4. Moms and toddlers in Church, sweet huh? Well, except if you happen to have one that behaves like Linda Blair in the Exorcist. This little girl was very unsettled, her parents were very patient and tried to unsuccessfully calm her down but she was getting really loud and it was becoming a distraction, yet the parents did not think they had to take her out of the room.

However, the only thing that made them move and take her out of sacrament meeting very quickly was when this sweet little girl with angelical face started throwing a tantrum and shouting “I hate Jesus! I hate Jesus! I hate Jesus!”.

Ah, don’t you love children?

 

You drop your wife to Church for a Relief Society meeting. Your youngest child is at the backseat of your car crying her eyes out because she is hungry. You reach Church, your wife’s meeting did not start yet so you take your baby out of the car and start feeding her. Suddenly, one of those inquisitive sisters from Relief Society comes around to say hi with a big smile on her face and asks you if you are “babysitting” for the day.

Sounds familiar? Did you notice that when a mother is holding her baby in arms nobody seems to comment about what she is doing? Or when she feeds or changes the baby? But when a father is doing exactly the same thing there is always someone around who asks or state: “Hey John, you are babysitting today huh?” “Hey John, it seems like you really know what you are doing!” “Hey, look at John babysitting!”.

You feel to slap them across the face at that very moment, but you suddenly remember your Christian background and Jesus’s words to his Apostles when he stated “for all they that take the sword shall perish with the sword”… Wait a minute, you don’t have a sword! Well, ummm”¦you know it’s a metaphor.

Anyhow, the inevitable question is: Since when a father babysits?

When I think about the world babysitting, I usually think of a part time job done by a teeny bopper who wishes to make a few bucks in the summer so she could buy the latest phone. It also comes to my mind perhaps a friend who you desperately call when there is an emergency or you need to run some errands. In other words, the latter is doing you a favor.

So why is it that sometimes men get undue adulation for spending time with their kids and taking care of them? I don’t know if people can see how condescending and narrow minded is to indirectly hint that a man, a father isn’t capable to do a good job at parenting just because he happens to be a man and because of that, he has the need of a “charitable cookie” thrown his way in the form of a praise.

Do fathers sometimes burn food when cooking? So do mothers.

Do fathers sometimes seem unable to calm down their crying infants? So do mothers.

Do fathers sometimes feel inadequate at parenting? So do mothers!

Folks, next time you see a brother in Church walking up and down with his toddler…When you see a father cleaning the mess of cheerios his baby left..When you see a brother taking his oldest child for a walk…

Remember, he is not babysitting, he is not being forced, he is just doing what he does best: He is being a father.

 

Dating in the Church as a Young Single Adult can be a great thing that can help you to develop experience and get new friends or”¦ it can quickly turn to a horrible and long nightmare depending on you how approach the date. Yes, we agree that standards are everything but when you misunderstand the body language or the ‘signs” given to you then you”re in BIG trouble.

1. Let’s for instance talk about Church dances. We know that the purpose of Church dances are for people to hang out and get to know each other more but come on girls!”¦ If a guy asks you to dance with him he is not asking for your hand in marriage, he is not saying that you are so unbelievablyyy hot that he cannot fathom the idea of dancing with anyone else BUT YOU “¦ He probably just wants to..DANCE! Is that a possibility? Yes, it is.

Therefore, please give the man a chance and enjoy the dance and the company and be yourself instead of acting like you have a line of a million guys begging to dance with you. Most guys like to hang out with simple girls and nothing turns them off more than a cocky girl”¦ LIKE ME!

2. Did you see that bald guy with the white shirt and boring tie in Church who you never talked to before? Well, he is a return missionary. He MIGHT be desperate if all of the sudden he gets your phone number from a friend and calls you to tell you he just came home from his mission and is looking for his eternal companion. RED FLAGS LADIES!

You also get the idea when now in person, he comes to introduce himself and at the same time tells you that he had this beautiful dream and in this dream, you and him were together in the Temple being sealed for all time and eternity. As your jaw drops to the floor when you hear that, he then adds that he would like to take the “relationship” (yes, that lonely 2 minute phone call IS the “Relationship”) to a serious level. Girl..If you hear THAT, change your phone number, move to another city, heck…Wear a wig, get a restraining order”¦R-U-N!

3. Guys, did you see that good looking girl with perfect teeth, modest outfit and voluminous hair due to lots of hair spray? The one who plays the piano and serves in Primary. Yessss, the one who talks with a baby voice and says every five second “Isn’t that sweet, isn’t he a gem?”. Don’t let the look fool you! Be aware of this kind please, if you have a potty mouth and you are used to say horrible words such as “darn” or “hell” well, that will be the last time you will ever hear from her. She will never stand for such filthy mouth. You should feel ashamed of yourself.

4. You happen to be interested in the son of a General Authority? Girl, you have no idea where you are getting into. We”re talking about Royal blood here and if you happen not to come from a Royal family, then be prepared to do the best you can as a “commoner”.

Go to the Church web site and start reading ALL the talks giving by his father so if you happen to get serious in that relationship and he invites you to meet his parents, you can tell his father all about the wonderful things he spoke in General Conference, score some points!

Make sure to do a checklist before that visit though: No extra piercings, hide that butterfly tattoo in your arm, and no beards or mustaches (the brethren are clean-shaven, so make sure to wax that mustache young lady!). Oh and if they ask you about your parents and their background, you can always boast and say that your mother is the 5th cousin of the great-great-great-grand-uncle of the wife of a General Authority. That’s usually quite impressive.

As a child, I was a big a fan of He-Man and She-Ra. Hey, don’t try to guess my age guys… You know better than that!

My grandmother would prepare chocolate milk (more chocolate than milk of course!), a whole bunch of cookies and my sister and I would watch the show together. Of course, I was She-Ra and my sister was Skeletor. I swear to you she was THAT skinny and mean!

He-Man and She-Ra remind me a lot about the present issue of Priesthood ordination and women, power, authority as well as gender equality.

If you have no idea who is He-Man it means you are probably very young so let me quickly summarize.

He-Man is this tanned guy with big muscles, super blond hair and bangs (I know, don’t ask) whose job is to defend the realm of Eternia and the secrets of Castle Grayskull from the evil forces of Skeletor. He is the alter ego of Prince Adam who looks exactly like He-Man but of course nobody seems to be smart enough to notice it. He possesses superhuman strength and has a special sword called the “Sword of Power” and it’s indestructible!

She-Ra (his twin sister) is known for her amazing strength and other abilities which seem to be more in the nurturing side.

When Prince Adam decides to transform into He-Man, he takes his special sword called again the “Sword of Power” and says these words:

“By the Power of Grayskull, I HAVE THE POWER!” And there he goes; ready to defend the universe from the evil forces that are attempting to destroy it. Are you following me folks?

As I mentioned previously, Prince Adam (a.k.a He-Man) has a twin sister named Princess Adora. Like her brother, she also has a sword”¦but guess what? It’s not the Sword of Power, it’s the Sword of “Protection” and it’s not indestructible. When Princess Adora wishes to transform into She-Ra she says the following:

“By the Power of Grayskull, I AM SHE-RA!”

WHAT? Let’s rewind”¦

“By the Power of Grayskull, I AM SHE-RA!” Why she says I AM SHERA and not “I have the Power” like her brother does?

Well, some She-Ras in our present time wish for both the power and the authority to help and protect the citizens of Eternia just like He-Men do every day but in order to accomplish that, they need the “Sword of Power”.

Our modern day She-Ras possess amazing strength, knowledge and wisdom, they come from many backgrounds and one thing is for sure”¦Despite the misconceptions flowing around, they do not wish to be more powerful than He-Men, it is not their evil wish to possess the Sword so they can go around and start chopping people. Heck, they do not wish to be He-Men, period!

They just want to remain She-Ras but with the “Sword of Power”, ready to battle the evil forces hand by hand with He-Men so that everyone in Eternia can benefit.. And when She-Ra’s little daughters see them battling the evil forces, healing and blessing the citizens of Eternia they can know that women can have Swords of Power too and it won’t stop them from changing diapers…

If we were in Hollywood and I have to think of one person that could play the role of George Clooney very well due to his amazing hair, perfectly straight teeth and sense of style (did you guys see the ties and suits he chooses for Conference? The man has ridiculously good taste). It’s definitely our very own: President Dieter F. Uchtdorf.

Besides being seriously good looking and a pilot (which adds to his coolness factor if you ask me and takes us away from the usual and boring businessman or lawyer) he always spots a lovely, all year-round tan. I don’t know if it’s spray-on tanning lotion or he owes a tanning booth (because unless he goes to Hawaii or the Caribbean every other weekend I just can’t see how he can get such a lovely tan all year long). Whatever he does, he knows what he is doing.

He is 73 years old. My goodness! Yes 73! And he surely doesn’t look like he does. I wonder how many of you brothers out there reading this would like to reach your 70’s looking so amazing? I am almost convinced most of you are saying “YES Cheeky Mormon! Of course! So I won’t have to keep hearing my wife say how wonderful and amazing Elder Uchtdorf is”.. Well, what are you waiting for?!

You can start by working out every morning (forget the eggs and bacon for a while) so you can reduce that little (or not so little?) belly you might have (I know the “more to love” concept gentlemen, but if you want to be like him then you have to keep the doughnuts away), exercise of course (nope, walking towards the refrigerator or pressing the remote control doesn’t count as exercise), get a tanning bed (a MUST in order to reach the look!) and you will have to stop dyeing your hair and let those beautiful greys of yours show! (Unless of course, you are President Monson, but he is the Prophet so we can’t tell him anything).

Okay, so Elder Uchtdorf didn’t serve a mission (due to mission war restrictions), he attended college but didn’t graduate (but graduated from pilot school, same thing right?) At the age of 13, he met his lovely wife Harriet and it was love at first sight for him. He said he fell for her from the very beginning but it wasn’t the same for Sister Uchtdorf, who only started considering him as ‘the one” after he served his military duties and returned to Germany. Of course, we understand, you want a strong, committed man in the Gospel plus”¦.He didn’t have the lovely grey hair back then!

On top of all these amazing things already listed, he gives the most spiritual, uplifting and inspiring talks in General Conference with a German accent! He is probably one of the few Germans who can speak English and not sound like he is cursing you.

I consider myself to be an unorthodox Mormon. I have my own views on homosexuality and gay marriage that probably won’t agree with most mainstream Mormonism.

When I was a teenager, I had a good friend who I loved very much and I still do even though we live oceans apart. He was the son of the Bishop of my ward at that time. Both of his parents were LDS members in a large family of 12. At that time, he was dating a good friend of mine for a couple of years. He was the kind of friend that anyone would love: Kind-hearted, sensitive, a good guy.

I am not exactly sure what happened, but all of the sudden he broke up with his girlfriend, stopped coming to Church and move out to another city. After two long years without having any news about him, he showed up at my doorstep unexpectedly. We hugged, he sat down and we started talking about our lives (of course, with a big glass of Coke). This is what I recall of the conversation:

Me: It’s so great to see you! But how come you disappeared like that?

Him: If I tell you, you will be very disappointed”¦

Me: Try me!

Him: I met this guy on my job who I love very much and we are living together as a couple.

Me: Are you happy?

Him: ….I know you may be disappointed but for many years I have struggled with this and I couldn’t live a lie any longer, I just did what I thought (and still think) is right at this moment.

Me: Are you happy?

Him: *paused* YES!

Me: Then come, give me a hug! I LOVE YOU!

We both cried. I always knew he was gay. Don’t ask me how I knew but I just felt it. His family was devastated by the news. He was the oldest child in the family and of course, like in most LDS/Mormon families the expectation was for him to serve a mission that never materialized.

The news broke the hearts of many. When he came out of the closet, friends, family and church members reacted to the news like if he had a brain tumor and 3 months to live but even with a brain tumor, a person gets all the love and support they can possibly get from loved ones but in this case, they stopped calling, they stopped asking for him and family members would invent trips he never made so they didn’t have to tell the truth. It was very hard on EVERYONE.

I witnessed throughout the years how hard he tried, how much he wanted to fit in and be the person everyone expected him to be (including dating girls he was never interested in the first place) but his efforts were futile and he was very unhappy. His family didn’t speak with him for two long years (a mission of its own) but eventually did and even though they never accepted his lifestyle as a gay man living in a committed relationship, they still keep in touch and he visits regularly.

When I say I believe in marriage equality, I am saying I want my old friend (and all my other friends whom I never met) to have the same opportunity than I do to marry. It is only fair. Legally, I cannot understand why we would stop them from doing so (based on our religious convictions) and I also do not understand the reasoning behind gay marriages threatening heterosexual ones (if you have some good reasons please contact me or comment). Homosexuality isn’t contagious.

Perhaps, you believe differently. Perhaps, you believe marriage is between a man and a woman and I respect that. What I would like to see is more understanding and dialogue from both sides.

Supporting marriage equality is possibly the least popular take for an LDS member taking into consideration how the Brethren feel about it. You may call it rebellion, I call it disagreement. I can respect the Church view and I can also respect and agree if they do not wish to marry homosexual couples in the Church.

Having said that, let’s get religion out of the equation with regards to civil rights and the Constitution, shall we? Let’s separate our religious convictions to the actual laws and let each one deal with the topic on their own accord.