Wonder Women

wonderwoman

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As some of you probably read online, Sister Elaine S. Dalton (Former General Young Women President) made a statement in the YW Leadership training this year that got quite a few people talking. She stated the following:

“That priesthood can be conferred on a man, this is true, they can be given authority but they cannot have power unless they are pure. So it’s very important for us to continue to talk standards, to teach them, and to encourage them, young men and young women, to be guardians of virtue, their own virtue and others because there are so many who say “It is not a young women’s problem if a boy is doing something wrong. If she is immodest, it’s not her problem if the boy does something wrong.” Well it is! We have to take responsibility for one another, we have to help one another.”

In general terms, I agree with the concept that we are here to help one another after all we are our brother’s keeper and yes, she talked about young men and young women being the guardians of virtue however her last sentence that pointed out specifically young women being somewhat at fault or responsible if a guy does something wrong didn’t digest very well into my system.

I”m kind of tired of the belief that young men or men are somehow testosterone freaks running around wildly waiting for a woman to pass by so they can jump to them (If given the chance) Of course, if they are not properly restrained by heavy chains and ropes in the form of a wonder woman whose job is to ensure they don’t fall into temptation.

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Do we really believe that our young women or women do not experience sexual tension of any kind when they see someone they are very attracted to?

Seriously?

If they are able to control their sexual urges (Generally speaking) and expect it to do so, why do young men or men then need them to help them? And how exactly are expected to help them? Oh, perhaps by dressing modesty? Will that help boys? I can imagine”¦all of the sudden all the urges that previously haunted our young men or men in the Church will magically dissapear once we start seeing our young women dressed perhaps in religious habits?

Darn it, something tells me that it won’t help because those feelings are completely natural and I”m quite sure they would still feel that way even if our females were wearing burkas.

Perhaps, that’s one point I think we need to address better in the Church. Often times, our youth and young single adults as well believe those urges are sinful and dirty. Well breaking news folks, sex is NOT dirty, and they need to know that. Once we establish once and for all that those urges are natural, that sex isn’t dirty they will be able to control those urges better without feeling guilty or dirty about it.

Of course, we do need to emphasize the importance of those urges being controlled and the fact that sex outside marriage is a clear violation of the law of chastity.

This is a lot to handle for any young man or woman and I believe both are equally responsible for their own virtue and control of such feelings. Because of this, I wish we wouldn’t throw towards the women the responsibility of ensuring that the males in the Church don’t mess up or they are somehow made feel at fault if they do mess up. See? It’s your fault! Your cleavage made me do it! See? It’s your fault for wearing those tight pants! See? It’s your fault, because you didn’t stop me!

We seriously need to stop the thinking that the way a young woman or woman dresses makes our men literally so out of control that just seeing a pair of very short shorts will turn them into sexualized beasts who are totally unable to think or reason in any way, shape or form.

One of the best quotes I ever heard about this topic and it comes from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland stating the following in a BYU devotional back in the 1980’s:

I”ve heard all my life that it is the young woman who has to assume the responsibility for controlling the limits of intimacy in courtship because a young man cannot. Seldom have I heard any point made on this subject that makes me want to throw up more than that.

What kind of man is he, what priesthood or power or strength or self-control does this man have that lets him develop in society, grow to the age of mature accountability, perhaps even pursue a university education and prepare to affect the future of colleagues and kingdoms and the course of this world world, but yet does not have the mental capacity or the moral will to say, “I will not do that thing”.

No, this sorry drugstore psychology would have him say, “I just can’t help myself. My glands have complete control over my entire life, my mind, my will, my very future.”

To say that a young woman in such a relationship has to bear her responsibility and that of his too is the most discriminatory doctrine I have ever heard”

You can listen to the audio here:

Http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5PBqxwlfHI&feature=youtu.be&t=31m47s

And read the “change” version here:

Http://emp.byui.edu/marrottr/HollndSoulsSymbSacrs.pdf

In the transcript, the part where he says: “Seldom have I heard any point made on this subject that makes me want to throw up more than that” was changed to “What an unacceptable response to such a serious issue!”. Also, the part where he says “…is the most discriminatory doctrine I have ever heard” was changed to “..is the least fair assertion I can imagine”.

When we realize that all this is truly about trusting our young men and their capabilities, the burden will be lifted automatically and there will no longer be a need for any young woman to come to the rescue when they are ready to fall, instead they will be there for support and not as 911 operators.

2 thoughts on “Wonder Women”

  1. Do you know why the words of Elder Holland were changed? And was he the one that made those changes for the written version of his talk?

  2. I was just talking about this topic with two of my lady friends (One LDS and one not). They both expressed the same exasperated view that I held: great that men have the priesthood and what not, but too bad it went to a group of human beings who can’t seem to control their own natural sexual urges and can’t seem to do what the scriptures tell them to do and overcome those urges.

    We need to work on being better men, for ourselves and for women everywhere.

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