Fake Cursing

pottymouth

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We Mormons are a peculiar bunch of folks, aren’t we? We don’t drink alcohol, coffee or tea, we do not smoke, or do drugs and eat healthier and exercise (Okay, okay”¦I know, we”re supposed to do that however we face serious temptations when we”re passing dunkin doughnuts but after humming a hymn, the temptation goes away”¦I think).

We send 18 year olds to missions to proselyte for the Church and during those two years they cannot watch tv or date or live the life of a regular teenager (And hear what? They are the ones who paid to go in the first place!) We give 10 percent of our income to the Church and we even accept “callings” or responsibilities to help. We are crazyyy, I know!

But what about swearing? Do Mormons swear? When we think about swearing within a Mormon context, the first person that comes to our minds is J. Golden Kimball, a seventy known for using the words “hell” and “da**” very often. President Heber J. Grant really tried to get him to speak differently but Golden was determined to maintain his true self:

“I don’t know about this here eternal marriage business. But it seems to me that if you can’t live with the sons-of-b*****on earth the Lord won’t force you to remain with them in heaven.”

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“Some people say a person receives a position in this church through revelation, and others say they get it through inspiration, but I say they get it through relation. If I hadn’t been related to Heber C. Kimball I wouldn’t have been a da** thing in this church.”

“Cut me off from the Church? They can’t do that! I repent do da** fast!”

“You may have noticed, brothers and sisters, that I keep waving these papers. Well, this is the Lord’s s**t list, and all your names are on it.”

I wonder what people would say if in General Conference a Seventy stands up and talks like Golden Kimball? I can imagine that all of the sudden the mic will be disconnected and they will announce ‘technical difficulties”. laugh.gif

But Mormons are very creative, and we came up with our own versions of cursing words throughout the years such as:

Son of a biscuit!
Flip!
Fetch!
Holy Macaroni!
Fudge!
Oh poo!

Some people think it is okay to use substitutes and others think the intention behind it is what it counts so they shouldn’t be used at all. What are your thoughts? Do you agree or disagree with the use of fake cursing words? If you agree, do you have any favorites?

And flip guys! Leave a freaking comment for Pete’s sake.

6 thoughts on “Fake Cursing”

  1. I disagree with the use of these words because of what you stated in your blog post about intention. As a matter of fact, some of these words sound worst than the real ones if you really want it. It is better to stay away from words of this nature.

  2. Hilarious! I must be a horrible mormon then because I use these words all the time when I’m angry or frustrated. I don’t see anything wrong with it.

  3. Work, golf, and rush hour traffic create the most issues for me. No substitute does justice. Substitutes generally just sound stupid to me. Just as stupid as other forms of swearing. Hard habit to break once you get started.

  4. There’s a good article in Slate on the origin, passing, and move to oblivion that most curse words take on. Search for the article “No Offense. Profanity is changing. For the better.”

    I don’t really care what people say. I don’t use anything I don’t want my kids to be saying. My list of words I’m willing or unwilling to say changes every now and again. And I’m okay with that.

  5. I’m an extremely religious Mormon. I don’t find hell or da** offensive at all. Freaking (I don’t know why you didn’t censor that) is a little above da**, and probably not as bad as cr** or b*.

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